You probably have heard of the phrase ‘slay queen’. This is a tag that has mostly been given to ladies particularly those with a peculiar set of collective characters and way of life. The male version of it is ‘slay king; a man who simply slays or tries to slay in his ways but we won’t delve into the male version today. Slay Queens are the most predominate force of South Sudanese ladies both back at home and outside of home on plight in foreign countries like kenya and Uganda. Here are the 10 habits both clear and subtle that would make you know that a girl is a slay queen:
1: Broken English most tend to try and speak in English which doesn’t come easy per se as most are primary school dropouts. So in a bid of trying to live a life they perceive they should be living, most will slap you in the face with pathetic grammar and tense that you would wish you nevr tried to converse wit in the first place.
2: Makeup– don’t get it twisted though, make up is a thing among most ladies out there including the respectable ones. Yet the kind of makeup we talking about here is the ambiguous one, too much of it. A slay queen’s face looks like a house made of mud as they tend to apply alot of make up. Running a piece of tissue paper across their faces would reveal a totally different person. I bet you should take a slay queen for swimming on a first date. Thank me later ohh.
3: Social media– I think it goes without saying that not all ladies on social media are slay queens. But most are. If you find a lady posting erratic loads of shit on social media, just know that’s a slay queen venting out. They always make everybody aware of their relationship upheavals and their break ups by making social media particularly Facebook an emotional drainage. We don’t care about your private life. You getting dumped is none of our business so please get over it. I hope they read this blog.
4: Partying: it’s a norm in a modern society to go out with your friends and have fun particularly during the weekends yet the slay queen’s take this a notch up higher. They chase every party in town in a bid to look cooler than their peers. They will hear John kudusay is in town on a Monday and they will be the first to buy tickets. Mind you they don’t work, never will. These girls chase so many parties that you would think their mother birthed em in a club or sth.
5: Single mothers– this I’ve to say with a heavy heart that my sisters have polluted the pehenonemen of single motherhood to such an extent that it’s now full of shame. No disrespect to all single mothers who were forced into it by unavoidable circumstances. Most of our sudanese youths were raised by single mums, mothers having lost their husbands to war or any cost of death that is unavoidable. That was an honorable single motherhood. Things have changed recently. You will see a young lady wear scantily you would think she works for the strip club yet has a 10 year old back at home. This is the same very mother that will leave her 2 year old kid behind and go chasing parties. Mind you, it’s the money begged from relatives in the name of son’s milk that would be used to buy VIP tickets to parties. That’s the price you pay by playing with young boys, slay kings only to birth slay kids and the cycle of stupidity continues for generations.
6: Snapchat hoes– most of the slay queens are the ones exposing too much skin on social media particularly Snapchat. Modernity comes with its perks for some who are smart enough while at the same time it brings downfall to the folly who follow every trend. Exposing your ‘nunu’ or any part of your body isn’t amusing, it isn’t sexy either. It’s just a turn off to respectable people in the society so grow the fuck up.
7: Drugs addicts– this never used to be an issue in the near past South Sudanese ways. Only a few lost uncles and aunties would drink. Uncles particularly were the ones who mostly smoked cigarettes. Things have now changed, young girls doing all sorts of drugs including even ‘fegis’ (cigarettes) of all things. Intoxicating their bodies to escape I don’t know what is a thing among most slay queens. Shisha is just but cigarettes which are flavoured yet you would see a slay queen billowing like a chimney. Rumour has it that if you wanna get laid quick, buy a slay queen a sinia of injera (Ethiopian cuisine ) then let her burn it down with a pot of shisha. Thank me later.
8: Mugoka and Mirra– I know these two fall under drugs but they deserve their own space. I’ve to say, just not cool for ladies. That’s all. No one would marry a girl that chews such filth. Men can pass time chewing it but ladies naah. We are not Somalis folk. Even somalis don’t take it with their ladies. It’s such a shame. Soon I’ll start name dropping some of them that I know.
9: Stench– there is a particular order associated with this species that is fast evolving into a different kind of female. This isn’t a sweet scent or aroma but an odour that would give your nose a first round KO. It’s the mixture of sweat, cheap cologne and bleach.
10: Bleaching: I wouldn’t say last but least yet for today. Most of the slay queen’s have low self esteem that they try and boost by burning their melanin with cheap bleaches from River Road that only lead to a distinctive smell only associated with em. Ok, this is perspective, imagine how their odour catches you off guard while they still wearing clothes and everything, what about when you are alone with one of em. How would that cat really smell like. Don’t answer it here. Later folk.
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